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Healthy Worry

Posted on Tue Jul 8, 10:15 PM in Livin'

1. It was confirmed to me this past weekend that my maternal uncle is an alcoholic, and most likely has been one for many decades. As usual, this is something I was completely unaware of, although his lack of a steady marriage/relationship has been noted. I wonder if this has been passed down to him from other relatives, either in the form of the alcoholism, or depression. I wonder what my predisposition to it is.
2. My aunt and uncle, who have been life-long smokers, quit this past March. “For the money,” they say, not the health. They used one of the prescription drugs for quitting smoking, which they say was not covered by their health plans. So far it has worked well for them. But they insist that they were “healthy smokers” and draw attention to the fact (or incredible luck) that they never got bronchitis or unusually bad colds as one might hear of typical smokers getting, and hence missing work, etc. They also like to say that they kept a clean house and were mindful of the affects of heavy smoking to the interior of a home. I’m happy they quit, no matter why. But their arguments of the smoking not really affecting their health astound me, and I didn’t break it to them that as a non-smoker, their house did smell like smoke, no matter what they may have done.
3. It occurs to me that, although my aunt and my mom are complete opposites in many ways, they may share some kind of personality weirdness. I’ve always noticed my mom indulges in schadenfreude (something that has made me cringe since I was little). My aunt likes to indulge in self-centered discussions, mostly those that have to do with her pointing out (sometimes needlessly) the hard work she has done or accomplishments she has made, and sometimes derailing a conversation in the process. My guess is both of these things have gone unchecked and old dogs not learning new tricks and all that, the quirks are here to stay. Seems to me that underlying both are self-esteem issues. Like my uncle’s drinking, I wonder where they learned these things or who “gave” it to them. What is my predisposition to this?
4. My parents, for the better part of a year, have been smoking. Oddly enough, my dad started at his old job (he blames it on those around him smoking, but hell, he’s been working around smokers all his life); apparently this was too much for my mom so she started, too. They used to smoke when I was younger, but quit around 1988, I think. This is boggling to me on so many levels. My father has told me that since he quit (successfully, I might add) cold turkey last time, he knows he can do it again; he’s “just not ready right now.” I haven’t even brought it up with my mom.
5. My father has been in treatment for a benign tumor behind his eye for about two years. It has been successfully “killed” (read: it ain’t growing no more), and he goes back periodically to review the location and make sure it’s either not growing, or in fact shrinking (which would be a bonus). I do wonder about my predisposition to this one.
6. My father (and my paternal grandmother) also has history of skin cancer. Both have had successful removals of their cancers. Since I resemble my grandmother to a scary degree, I might assume I have those skin genes, too. Which is why you will probably see me lather on the SPF45 for long jaunts in the sun. Tanning is not in my future.
7. And my mother has finally gone to see a doctor about her knees. My mother won’t ask for medical help, and I’m not sure why. So it took a 10-Aleve-a-day habit and constant knee pain for her to see a GP for a consult. As someone who hasn’t seen a doctor in, oh, say, since I was born, there’s quite a bit a GP would be interested to know about her, nevermind the knees. So my mom had bloodwork done in addition to the knee consult, and also had her first mammogram. The mammograms turned out negative, which is great. But I’m really hoping I have my dad’s joints, which he says are still in good shape. I don’t believe my mom abused her joints during her life, but she did exercise quite a bit, and for many years, jogged daily. She really does enjoy walking, and I think the inability to walk as long as she needs or wants to was the final straw for her. She has a meeting with an orthopedic surgeon in August. If they recommend surgery (which surprisingly she is up for) there will be some weeks of therapy. I may, depending on my luck with getting a job, spend some time up there to help shuttle her to appointments, since my father drives the only vehicle in the family and he will be working.

And me? Since I have no insurance at the moment, I’m trying to keep my nose clean. But I continue to eat healthily, visit the gym regularly and work with a trainer on occasion, and visit two doctors: my dentist and my chiropractor. I can’t complain about my health, really. Other than myopia I’m fine. But I do wonder about self-esteem issues, I do wonder about depression sometimes, and certainly anxiety. I know worry doesn’t solve anything, but I honestly wonder where I get some of this stuff.